It Would Destroy A Lesser Man

We had a 'secret santa' thing at 'the work lunch' today. For reasons I am at a loss to explain, my carefully selected present, a pack of 16 double A Energizer batteries, was greeted with much laughter from around the table and even from the recipient himself.

Owing to the secret nature of the event, I was of course unable to inform my colleagues of the excellent deal which I had obtained, in order to be able to supply said batteries in such impressive quantity. Nor was I able to respond to the allegations that such a gift was "cold", was "probably from someone with a sense of humour", and was "not even proper Duracells."

Now I could understand if the recipient was a woman - giving batteries to the fairer sex is obviously forbidden and just about the highest crime which a man could commit. But I thought that 'the man who has everything' would surely need many batteries to power it all. Alas, it seems that my useful present was not accepted in the spirit which I had intended.

Maybe next year I will be less generous.